THURSDAY'S THOUGHTS ON TANTALIZING TITTLE-TATTLE...

In my days it was just rain, now it's weighed!
Who said crime doesn't pay? Looks like it does here!
This $5 bargain could be a $50 million dart board!
One man's meat, is another mans life!

I get so many of these, that my computer is starting to look like Derryn Hinch!

"I'll be back!" and he came back!

This is not the way to get a discount!

That's all folks!

THE SILLY SATURDAY JOKE !

Two Scots, Erchie and Tyrone, were on a trip to London. Walking down the street, Erchie's attention was suddenly grabbed by a sign in a shop window. It read: "Suits £5. Shirts £2. Trousers £2.50."

Erchie said to his mate: "Tyrone, see that, man! We could buy a load o' claes, an' when we get back hame, we could make a b***** fortune."

"Noo, ye've heard whit these London sharks are like. When we go into the shoap, you keep shtum, eh? Leave a' the talkin' tae me, 'cos if they hear wir accents they'll try and rip us aff."

"Sure thing, man," said Tyrone. "Ye'll no' hear a peep oot o' me."

They went in, and Erchie started off his patter: "Good morning, my man. I'll take 50 suits at £5 each, 100 shirts at £2 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50. I'll just bring the car to the door and..."

The shopkeeper interrupted him: "Well lads, first time in the big city, is it?"

"Well... aye it is," said a surprised Erchie. "How the hell did ye ken?"

The shopkeeper sighed. "This is a dry cleaners," he said.

Be encouraged!

GBYAY

SATURDAY'S SILLY JOKE!

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem .

While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Be encouraged.

GBYAY